Adam's Song
by GSRnutforever
Summary: Lyrics are written at each crime scene and the song brings back elements of Grissom’s past that he fought so hard to forget. GSR! Mentions of suicide. Rating may go up. “Adam’s Song” by Blink 182. FINALLY FINISHED!
1. Intro

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing OKAY DISCLAIMER: I own nothing OKAY!

Summary: Lyrics are written at each crime scene and the song brings back elements of Grissom's past that he fought so hard to forget. GSR! Mentions of suicide. Rating may go up. "Adam's Song" by Blink 182.

WARNING! The lyrics from "Adam's Song" by Blink 182 appear frequently, which basically inspired this story. I warned you so don't complain. R+R.

I never thought I'd die alone

I remember when we were little. We had always planned to get married and see who had the most kids. Guess you'll beat kiddo.

_  
I laughed the loudest who'd have known_

I never realised that until you pointed it out.

_  
I traced the cord back to the wall  
No wonder it was never plugged in at al_

Our last argument. Over the damn television. After all, it was me that kicked the plug out.

_  
I took my time, I hurried up  
The choice was mine, I didn't think enough  
I'm too depressed, to go on  
You'll be sorry when I'm gone_

Don't even try to deny it. We fought, but you'll still miss me.__

I never conquered, rarely came  
16 just held such better days  
Days when I still felt alive  
We couldn't wait to get outside  
The world was wide, too late to try  
The tour was over we'd survived  
I couldn't wait till I got home  
To pass the time in my room alone  


All I ever did was hide in my room

_  
I never thought I'd die alone  
Another six months I'll be unknown_

Everyone but you will forget about me.

_  
Give all my things to all my friends  
You'll never set foot in my room again_

Bet you move on to the couch, cause my stuff litters my side of our room.

_  
You'll close it off, board it up  
Remember the time that I spilled the cup  
Of apple juice in the hall_

I got into so much trouble that day. You just fell to the floor laughing

_  
Please tell mom this is not her fault_

BANG! SPLASH! "ADAM!"

Grissom found himself bolt up straight, screaming a name he hadn't heard in over forty years.

TBC


	2. Crime Scene

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing OKAY DISCLAIMER: I own nothing OKAY!

_Summary: Lyrics are written at each crime scene and the song brings back elements of Grissom's past that he fought so hard to forget. GSR! Mentions of suicide. Rating may go up. "Adam's Song" by Blink 182._

_WARNING! The lyrics from "Adam's Song" by Blink 182 appear frequently, which basically inspired this story. I warned you so don't complain. R+R. And for the purpose of this story, Grissom wrote the song, then Blink 182. just because I can. LOL )_

_BANG! SPLASH! "ADAM!"_

_Grissom found himself bolt up straight, screaming a name he hadn't heard in over forty years._

His body was covered in sweat and shaking uncontrollably. Sara woke to find her fiancée cuddling his knees to his chest, sobbing quietly. She sat up slowly, rubbing circles on his naked back as some form of comfort. This had been going on for a while, but neither could figure out why.

"Why is this happening Sara? I tried for over a year to forget, only for it to start again forty years later?"

"I wish I knew Gil."

Grissom had been nine when his father had died, causing a lot of tension between himself and his older brother. Shortly after his twelfth birthday, he had witnessed something that would haunt him for years. His sixteen-year-old sibling had committed suicide. All Grissom could recall was screaming his name as his body fell from the bridge.

The shift started like any other. The team sat around the break room as Grissom walked in, assignments in hand.

"Catherine, Warrick, you have a double 419 on Fremont Street. Greg, go with." Greg jumped up with much enthusiasm, grabbing the slip from Grissom's hand and practically bouncing from the room, Catherine and Warrick in tow.

"What about us boss?"

"You Nick, have a B+E in Pahrump."

"Sweet!"

"Sara, we have a 419. you might want to change shoes."

"Okay."

"You two kiddies behave now won't you?"

"NICK!"

"Gone!" Nick hurried form the room; aware of the death stares he was receiving from both sides.

"Victor Montana, 42. Neighbour found him. Says no one has seen him for nearly a week."

"And they didn't think to call missing persons?"

"He's a photographer. He disappears for days, sometimes weeks and months. You guys are going to love this." Brass guided them through the house. "Arte you guys familiar with 'Adam's Song?"

"Blink 182. I didn't realise that as your kind of music Brass?" Both Sara and Grissom gasped as they entered the room. Written on the wall written just above the body was part of the all-familiar lyrics.

_I never thought I'd die alone  
Another six months I'll be unknown_

_Give all my things to all my friends  
You'll never set foot in my room again_

_You'll close it off, board it up_

_Remember the time that I spilled the cup  
Of apple juice in the hall_

"Please tell mom this is not her fault." Sara looked over at Grissom as his face paled dramatically. A wave of nausea hit and he ran from the room, leaving both Sara and Brass confused. Following a familiar noise, they found him losing his lunch in the front garden. Sara began instinctively rubbing his back until his vomiting had ceased.

"Sorry." Came his mumbled apology.

"Jim, I'm taking him home."

"I'm fine."

"You're anything but. I'm taking you home, no argument. Brass, call Nick and Catherine, ask them if they mind doubling up."

"Gil, you okay?"

That was the last thing Grissom heard before he lapsed into darkness.

TBC

_Again, I leave you with a cliffhanger. I'm sure you all hate me right now._


	3. Telling the Team

"How's he doing DISCLAIMER: I own nothing OKAY!

_Summary: Lyrics are written at each crime scene and the song brings back elements of Grissom's past that he fought so hard to forget. GSR! Mentions of suicide. Rating may go up. "Adam's Song" by Blink 182._

_WARNING! The lyrics from "Adam's Song" by Blink 182 appear frequently, which basically inspired this story. I warned you so don't complain. R+R. And for the purpose of this story, Grissom wrote the song, then Blink 182. just because I can. LOL )_

"How's he doing?" Sara flopped down on the couch as Brass handed her a cup of coffee.

"I'm not sure."

"Has he been sleeping?" Sara hesitated for a long moment before shaking her head. Brass opened his mouth to say more, but was cut by Grissom's screaming. The cup shattered on the floor as she ran in the direction of their bedroom with Brass in tow. They found him in the same position she had that night before, cuddling his knees against his chest and crying. She wrapped her arms around this waist and waited for him to calm down.

"How do I make it stop Sara? I just want it to stop." Brass watched as his oldest friend broke into tears again. In the twenty some years they had known each other, Grissom had not cried once. Yet here he was, a fifty-year-old man, losing emotional control in the arms of his fiancée. Though he was never going to admit it, Brass could see from the beginning that Grissom was a haunted man and here was the undeniable proof. A last, sympathetic look at the couple, and Brass disappeared into the living room. When he was ready, Grissom would tell.

The gang was gathered around the rather spacious living room. Other than Catherine, no one had seen inside their apartment before. Hank was laid on the couch, his head resting on Greg's thigh and enjoying the feel of being scratched behind his ears. He didn't know these people, but with all the attention they were giving him, he liked them.

Grissom had spoken to Sara. He asked her to invite the team over so he could explain. She told he didn't have to, but he insisted. It was time to stop pretending. While waiting for the shift to end, he had managed to fall back to sleep for an hour. He emerged from the bedroom, his fingers laced through Sara's. His creased shirt, tousled hair and unshaven face confirmed that he had just woken up. No one could help but feel sympathetic for the tired man before their eyes, clinging on to a hand as if it were his last lifeline. With swollen red eyes, Gil Grissom was a broken man.

"I was nine when my dad died. He came home while I was watching TV. He just fell asleep, but my mom couldn't wake him up. My brother came home, and yelled at me, as if it was my fault. I kicked him and ran to my room. Didn't speak to him for a week. We made up before the funeral.

"Everything became fractured after that. I was in fights at school, he was falling behind. We both became depressed, but we just blew it off cause we could talk to each other. And something happened…

"Mom had an argument with me after I punched this kid at school. My brother stepped in and my mom did the unthinkable. She hit him. She never hit us before. He stormed out. I ran straight out, maybe try to get him to calm down. I never expected to find him the way I did…"

_August 17 1968_

_A young sandy blonde haired boy wondered the street in a frantic search for his brother. The boy in question was stood on the balcony of the bridge, using a post for support. Hearing footsteps, he turned, finding his brother staring back at him with wide eyes._

"_I can't it any more."_

"_Mom didn't mean it. She was just angry with me. Just talk to me."_

"_There's nothing you can do Gil, not this time."_

"_PLEASE!" Tears were running freely down his face. He was fighting against them but it wasn't working._

"_Just go Gil. Just walk away and pretend you haven't seen me ."_

"_I cant."_

"_Just do it."_

"_I cant! Just let me help you"_

"_I want you to do thing Gilbert." His dark eyes caught the bright blues of his little brother. "Tell mom this isn't her fault."_

_BANG! SPLASH! "ADAM!"_

_**AUGUST 12 2008**_

"I don't remember seeing a gun or the flash. All I remember was screaming. I know it was me, but it sounded like someone else, someone I didn't recognize." Tears silently rolled down his cheeks, but he made no effort to stop them. Everyone could see he was hurt, who wouldn't be? He was a human after all, haunted by the trauma of his childhood.

"It took me over a year to stop crying myself to sleep. And given the fact that my mother was deaf, she never heard and I never told her. Everyone else blamed me, treating me as if I was infected with something. I was ignored at school so I focused on the only thing that couldn't judge me. Bugs. Eventually, I just…disappeared." His body had visibly started shaking and the pressure on Sara's hand gradually increased. His was biting his lower lip just to keep it together. "_Please tell me mom this is not her fault."_

"Adam's Song, Blink 182." Grissom nodded.

"I always hated that song. Funny thing is, most of lyrics are true. He died alone, he had a really loud laugh, he was depressed. No one went into his room afterward, even though we were sharing. The last thing he said to me. _Tell mom this isn't her fault._" His voice broke as he quoted his brother's last words and all control he had before went of the window. Uncontrollable sobs racked through his body. He pulled his knees to chest and hid himself behind them. They sat, absorbing this new information about their boss as he cried for the first time in public, nothing held back.

_I honestly have no idea where this is going yet. Don't expect an update for a few weeks as I am going to Sydney with my school band. (Cool eh?) I may be writing a sorry about Catherine while I gather ideas but I advise that you WATCH THIS SPACE!!_


	4. Mom and notso Dad

Days passed since Grissom's confession, with everyone keep a silent watch over him. His birthday came around, but he didn't seem too pleased about it.

"Supervisor Grissom you have a visitor. Supervisor Grissom, a visitor."

"Mom what are you doing here?"

"It's your birthday Gilbert. I am here to help you celebrate."

"I don't celebrate anymore mom."

"Why not dear?"

"You know why." He closed his eyes and sighed deeply to calm himself. "Sorry. I didn't mean it to come out like that."

"It was forty years ago."

"Forty years today mom. Things like that are hard to forget." An uncomfortable silence floated between them until Sara rounded the corner, her head buried in a file.

"Sara?"

"Emily how are you?" The two women exchanged warm hugs, chatting so quickly, Grissom failed to understand a word that was said. The pleasant smile that had been plastered to his face suddenly disappeared when an all too familiar stepped into view. Leaving the ladies to chat, he approached the man with an unfamiliar fire of hatred in his eyes.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Came to see my son on his birthday."

"I am _not_ your son." Grissom had unknowingly raised his voice, attracting some very unwanted attention. "You were never there and you never will be. Now get the hell away from me and my mom."

"Gilbert-" The man put a reassuring hand on Grissom's shoulder but he pushed it off with more force than necessary

"You have no right calling me that. You're in violation of a restraining order just being here!"

Sara and Emily were watching the two men with concern. Sara had never witnessed Grissom become violent, but they were going both hoping that the argument wouldn't get that far. As words were exchanged though, a fight was becoming more and more likely.

"I did nothing but love your mother-"

"Right, but I didn't fit into your perfect world did I?"

"That's not true."

"You hit me!"

"It happened once."

"Until I was unconscious! Or don't you remember?"

"I admit it okay? But I didn't mean for it to go that far."

"That's not what you told the doctor."

"I was protecting you."

"From WHAT! Mom didn't hit me, she sat by my bed for three weeks until I woke up! And where were you? Getting pissed off your head no doubt."

"You little-"

"What the hell is going on?" Conrad Ecklie now appeared in the corridor that was lined with lab techs and CSIs.

"Nothing I can't handle Conrad." His attention turned back to the man in front of him. "Get out of here. I never want to see your face again."

"Don't blame me for the date Gil. After all, it wasn't your mother's fault right?" He turned and left without a second glance, as Grissom's face turned violently pale and the hatred in his eyes burned brighter than anyone had known it to before.

Apologies for not updating sooner. It's slow progress but I am working on it. Love the reviews so keep them coming.


	5. The Truth Revealed&Holding on

"And just what the hell is that supposed to mean

I decided that I didn't like my original Chapter 5 so it no longer exists. Here is the new Chapter 5 and Chapter 6.

CHAPTER 5

"And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Adam jumped from that bridge of his own free will. No one made him Gil. Its about time you got that into you head."

"He didn't jump. And I can prove it." For the first time since the argument started, a hint of fear in Daniel's eyes. "I managed to get hold of Adam's autopsy report."

"Adam was shot in the back. Given that the bullet never left the body, couldn't have shot himself." Sara spoke up for the first time. "In a statement given to the police, a witness stated that he heard a gunshot but never saw a gun. No gun was ever recovered." Grissom's blue eyes pieced Daniel's green ones as the fear within them grew.

"Ballistics matched the bullet recovered to a gun. That was registered in your name. You got away with back then, until they passed a law saying it had to be registered." Grissom took a few small steps towards him. "Did it make you feel tough, killing an unarmed sixteen year old boy? Or did you freak out because I cared enough to show up?"

Daniel grabbed Grissom's jacket and threw him against the wall. A punch in the gut and an arm pressing tightly against his throat didn't seem to phase him though.

"What did he ever do to you? He was doing right by mum and me. He saw for the bastard you really are." He struggled for air as the arm pushed further into his windpipe. Warrick, Nick and Greg pulled the crazed man away while Brass began reading his rights. Sara rushed to Grissom's side as he slid down the wall trying to regain control of his breathing. He slowly stood as Brass was finishing.

"I hope you know what you're doing Gilbert."

"Same thing I was doing forty years ago. Protecting my family from you."

"You have no idea." Brass was just about to cuff him when an elbow connected with his stomach. A gun was grabbed, a shot was fired.

And Gilbert Grissom fell

KEEP SCROLLING

CHAPTER 6

Chaos ensued. Nick, Greg, Warrick and Brass tackled Daniel to the ground, Ecklie caught Emily before she hit the floor. Sara eased Grissom's body to the ground resting his head gently on his knees.

"I hate my birthday."

"You just focus your energy on staying with me okay? You can bitch your birthday later."

"I never bitch." Grissom's eyes were beginning to droop.

"Gilbert I swear I will kick your ass if you give up on me."

"Don't call me Gilbert, you know I don't like it."

"I know baby, but I need you to stay awake. The paramedics will be here soon."

"You have pretty eyes. Have I ever told you that?"

"Many times Gil."

"Just promise me something. No pink at the wedding."

"I'll do my best." A tear trickled down her cheek and landed on his shirt.

"Don't cry. I love you."

"I love you too." She placed her lips over his in a gentle kiss. She applied a bit more pressure when she noticed he had stopped responding. Pulling back, his eyes were closed and his breathing was so faint she almost couldn't hear it. By that time, the paramedics had shown up and began their work. Brass had pulled her into his arms and watched helplessly as they ran him into the ambulance.

_One more chapter is all I have to write so stay with me. _


	6. Tomorrow holds such better days

Familiar fingers tugged through his unruly, unkempt curls, her unique scent filling his nostrils, a hand resting on his own ac

I FINALLY FININSHED!! This chapter is really fluffy and cute so you have been warned. I had to stick lyrics in, obviously because the story is named and written because of the song. Love to hear from you and thanks for being so patient.

Familiar fingers tugged through his unruly, unkempt curls, her unique scent filling his nostrils, a hand resting on his own across his stomach above the bandages. The unwanted memories flooded back. Daniel, gun and definitely NO pink at the wedding they had barely begun to plan. His eyes squinted, attempting to adjust to the light and greeted by the _Gilbert-only _smile.

"Morning Gilbert."

"Enough with the Gilbert already."

"I'm sorry baby but it is your name."

"The only mistake my mother ever made was calling me Gilbert."

"I heard that Gilbert." Came Emily's voice from the corridor. Sara giggled before covering his hand with both of hers slightly shaking.

"I need to ask you something."

"Okay." She seemed uncharacteristically nervous.

"How would feel about having a… Gilbert Jr?" Grissom looked momentarily stunned.

"You…you're pregnant."

"You're going to be a father."

"I think I love my birthday again."

August 17 2013

"Mum, I think Uncle Greg's gone crazy."

"Why do you say that honey?" As if on cue a VERY drunk Greg Sanders rounded the corner. "Next year, we have the party at Auntie Catherine's" The door slid open behind them.

"Dad's here." A large hand ruffled his blond curls as a second wrapped itself around Sara' waist.

"What did I miss?" She reached behind, pulling his head to gently touch their lips together, lingering far longer than they should have.

"What happened to the PDA rule?" To his dismay, his parents didn't pull apart.

"We're at home sweetie, it doesn't count." Sara's reply was muffled by Grissom's mouth.

"I'm off to puke in the corner now." When they _finally_ decided to breathe, Greg had fallen in the pool, while Nick and Warrick had fallen on the floor laughing. Sara's attention was on her son. He stood, rather shyly, in front of Marian Stokes.

"The poor kid is in love."

"I really enjoyed last weekend and I was wondering if you'd like to do it again on Saturday? Maybe…see a movie or something?"

"Are you asking me out?"

"I guess. I…really like you and I would like to take you out…on a date. Only if you want to though…I mean…" Brave Marian raised his chin and boldly placed a soft kiss on Adam Grissom's lips.

"I'd love to see a movie with you." Adam found that he'd lost the ability to speak, something that Marian found funny. "First kiss?" all he could do was nod.

"Could you…never mind."

"What were going to say?"

"It doesn't matter, I was being stupid."

"Nothing you say is stupid."

"Would you…do that again?"

"Kiss you?" Suddenly, an ant on the floor seemed very interesting.

"Told you it was stupid." She moved with confidence, standing toe to toe with Adam. When he noticed the change, he looked up and was met by the pressure of her lips once again on his. His eyes closed involuntarily as he returned the pressure and for a long moment Adam Gilbert Grissom could remember nothing BUT her name.

He only wished his parents had been witness to his first kiss.

_I never conquered, rarely came  
Tomorrow holds such better days  
Days when I could still feel alive  
When I can't wait to get outside  
The world is wide, the time goes by  
The tour is over I survived  
And I can't wait till I get home  
To pass the time in my room alone_

ENDENDENDEND


End file.
